told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
