How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
