Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.

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  (253): I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then. http://tfl.nu/hci4
  Replies (9) Good night (2326) Bad night (604)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.

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  (252): I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real. http://tfl.nu/u784
  Replies (20) Good night (781) Bad night (3204)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.

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  (215): Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf. http://tfl.nu/0na3
  Replies (61) Good night (28583) Bad night (1387)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.

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  (469): It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays. http://tfl.nu/21z4
  Replies (13) Good night (4444) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.

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  (407): Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast. http://tfl.nu/8b17
  Replies (11) Good night (5436) Bad night (1246)
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  (585): View more from New York

  at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.

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  (585): at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter. http://tfl.nu/syxr
  Replies (4) Good night (1144) Bad night (2472)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part

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  (715): I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part http://tfl.nu/to5h
  Replies (15) Good night (1041) Bad night (4310)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you

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  (519): I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you http://tfl.nu/mvu5
  Replies (6) Good night (3006) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.

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  (248): Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers. http://tfl.nu/psr6
  Replies (4) Good night (2329) Bad night (1149)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...

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  (919): Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible... http://tfl.nu/6e9j
  Replies (6) Good night (1722) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours

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  (203): I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours http://tfl.nu/8ktt
  Replies (9) Good night (1840) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.

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  (305): Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault. http://tfl.nu/pad6
  Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.

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  (61): I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege. http://tfl.nu/9edb
  Replies (4) Good night (428) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!

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  (309): WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/237p
  Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I think so and I think we were sober.

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  (607): Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream? (1-607): I think so and I think we were sober. http://tfl.nu/6esa
  Replies (2) Good night (753) Bad night (349)

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