Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  awkward

  (309): View more from Illinois

  no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.

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  (309): so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school (1-309): awkward (309): no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/y6uz
  Replies (12) Good night (1141) Bad night (2676)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable

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  (773): she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable http://tfl.nu/h8f0
  Replies (17) Good night (6455) Bad night (1339)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...

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  (303): Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks... http://tfl.nu/ccgl
  Replies (6) Good night (6271) Bad night (860)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.

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  (570): do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome. http://tfl.nu/5az6
  Replies (5) Good night (5263) Bad night (817)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  ....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP

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  (850): ....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP http://tfl.nu/qpvz
  Replies (1) Good night (1136) Bad night (1117)
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  (408): View more from California

  I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.

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  (408): I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/f5jy
  Replies (16) Good night (2717) Bad night (754)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?

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  (432): I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good? http://tfl.nu/n0mc
  Replies (12) Good night (836) Bad night (3887)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.

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  (413): Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion. http://tfl.nu/ppkx
  Replies (7) Good night (2369) Bad night (668)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.

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  (802): shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots. http://tfl.nu/6u08
  Replies (12) Good night (2207) Bad night (732)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?

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  (802): When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean? http://tfl.nu/44u3
  Replies (4) Good night (1245) Bad night (334)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)

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  (860): And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?) http://tfl.nu/cs4u
  Replies (4) Good night (541) Bad night (270)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.

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  (907): Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood. http://tfl.nu/d01c
  Replies (3) Good night (685) Bad night (310)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.

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  (603): I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down. http://tfl.nu/shbl
  Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (218)
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  (323): View more from California

  I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.

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  (323): I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark. http://tfl.nu/y5i1
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (209)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho

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  (617): woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho http://tfl.nu/i91s
  Replies (2) Good night (566) Bad night (226)

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