I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.