**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
3 2 1 whiskey
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week