Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.

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  (212): I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland. http://tfl.nu/ca0n
  Replies (71) Good night (29589) Bad night (1423)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  "I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.

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  (309): I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head. (309): "I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night. http://tfl.nu/9065
  Replies (62) Good night (9017) Bad night (839)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"

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  (614): you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers" http://tfl.nu/unf8
  Replies (13) Good night (4586) Bad night (689)
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  (347): View more from New York

  We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"

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  (347): We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?" http://tfl.nu/p6mw
  Replies (52) Good night (864) Bad night (5058)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.

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  (541): To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever. http://tfl.nu/9nwk
  Replies (7) Good night (888) Bad night (3301)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.

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  (407): I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls. http://tfl.nu/jhsp
  Replies (6) Good night (1527) Bad night (648)
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  (818): View more from California

  I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.

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  (818): I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. http://tfl.nu/hxik
  Replies (10) Good night (903) Bad night (1604)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime

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  (541): I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime http://tfl.nu/biqg
  Replies (9) Good night (2121) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.

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  (352): we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes. http://tfl.nu/aq7l
  Replies (3) Good night (768) Bad night (1302)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother

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  (865): I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother http://tfl.nu/1rmv
  Replies (7) Good night (1324) Bad night (941)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.

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  (906): I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck. http://tfl.nu/hho5
  Replies (12) Good night (2485) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?

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  (617): I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went? http://tfl.nu/d06s
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (930)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...

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  (303): We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes... http://tfl.nu/lait
  Replies (6) Good night (472) Bad night (1307)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next

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  (202): Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next http://tfl.nu/dw8t
  Replies (4) Good night (423) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"

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  (469): words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you" http://tfl.nu/m5ga
  Replies (3) Good night (268) Bad night (407)

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