He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
