Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
