I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
