I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
