I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
