She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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