oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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