Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
