My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
