Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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