I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
