I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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