i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
