Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Text me some of your sweat
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
