So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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