capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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