All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
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He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
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On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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