Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
