Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
