3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
