Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize