well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
