Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
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Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.