just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
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on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
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I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me