All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.