used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.