Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon