I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
