what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize