I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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