i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
