sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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