My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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