Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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