We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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