My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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