we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize