Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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