that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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