I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did