Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

wrong asian. never thought that would happen.

Fav 16 1512 4236
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(218): View more from Minnesota

you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"

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(614): View more from Ohio

Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out

(574): View more from Indiana

You never cease to amaze me.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.

Fav 15 2376 6933
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.

Fav 6 1308 3057
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(916): View more from California

Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.

Fav 2 1084 470
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(713): View more from Texas

I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.

Fav 3 86 19
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