Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
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Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I will be naked everywhere
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
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Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐