worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.