I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
