Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
high people should be assigned attendants
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
