So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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