So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
