dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
