she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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