I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Naked Twister starts at high noon
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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