i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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