we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
