the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
