She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.