if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
