So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
