sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize