You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
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Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
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I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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