drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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