I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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