Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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